Just for Gags...

1. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet... 
Stupid Question:- 
Sorry, did that hurt? 
Answer:- 
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again. 

2. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask... 
Stupid Question:- 
Why, why him, of all people. 
Answer:- 
Why? Would it rather have been you? 

3. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter 
Stupid Question:- 
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good?? 
Answer:- 
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it

4. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years... 
Stupid Question:- 
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big. 
Answer:- 
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself. 

5. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... 

Stupid Question:- 
Sorry. were you sleeping? 
Answer:- 
No.. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron. 

6. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.... 
Stupid Question:- 
Hey have you had a haircut? 
Answer:- 
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

7. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... 
Stupid Question:- 
Oh, so you smoke. 
Answer:- 
Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!